[This is a street in Glasgow. I really like twinkly lights.]
I cannot believe it's February already. Where did the time go? I have four months left in Scotland, which part of me feels like is a considerably long time, and another part of me feels like it might take forever. How can May 30 seem so close and yet so far? I'm picking out classes for Summer II, and will be choosing my housing later this month, and both of these actions serve as stark reminders that I will be returning to Boston at some point.
This weekend, like most days, was filled with highs and lows. I went to Glasgow yesterday for some shopping and sightseeing, along with a few friends I've made here. It was nice to get out of Edinburgh for a bit, and Glasgow seems much more exciting and closer to the ideal of an actual "city" which is nice. It's twice as large as Edinburgh and also has it's own (very small) subway system. We went to a few museums and then stopped by Primark, which is this huge bargain store that sells somewhat fashionable men's and women's clothing on the cheap. I picked up a pair of tennis shoes for 3 pounds, which was good. I also had my very first taste of fish and chips, which is a popular meal around here. (Everything here is either deep fried or covered in mayo. I seriously do not understand how both boys and girls in Scotland are able to fit into such skinny jeans.)
On Saturday, I went out to a gay club, and aside from the creepy Brazilan man who hit on me, it was an OK time. They played some good music, as expected, and it was nice to get out and see a more cosmopolitan and trendy part of Edinburgh.
Generally I'm in a much better mood than I have been. Perhaps what I realized is I've been approching this experience all wrong. I've been constantly measuring my experience with my unrealistically high expectations, and unsurprisingly, I wind up disappointed. The problem is not that I have those expectations in the first place - they contribute to my drive and ambition - but more the amount of pressure I put on myself to achieve these goals. I do this with most experiences in my life, and what I'm learning is, that is not a healthy way to live. Maybe I won't end up with a vast circle of tight-knit international friends from all over the world. But that needs to be OK. I might end up close with one other person by the time I leave - and you know what? That's ONE more person that I didn't know before. There is no right or wrong way to do this, (well I mean aside from being strapped to a guerny in Amsterdam or something), and I need to stop comparing what I'm experiencing to what others have done. I've never lived my life based on a blueprint, so why start now?
SO that's why, from this point forward, I'm going to stop with all the pressure. If by May 30, I've made a few friends (either international or American), can name the best place to get coffee, haggis, and/or live music in the city, traveled to the places that I want to see, and generally have broadened my perspective on how I view the world, then I will consider this trip a success.
Who knew that all I really needed was an attitude adjustment?
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